So Alone

If I could fix everything I would........ But I can't....... The guy I like is dating someone he only recently met. The other guy I like doesn't like me anymore. I am in a lose lose situation. I can't do anything right. I have no one to talk to besides the stars, no one to listen to besides the shadows, and no is there to listen or talk to me. I am no one. My only friends are either in a different state, or basically pretending I am not here.
      I listen to sad songs on Youtube, I read romances and cry because I know that might never EVER be me. I watch sad movies, I read quotes about missing friends and loved ones, I sing songs that shouldn't mean something real to me. I nearly cry every time I see my... friend.... I told him I made a new best friend and he got all on the defensive. I didn't mean to offend him, but now he thinks we aren't friends anymore, and I have no one. because my new best friend is moving to Belgium soon. I have no one, I am lost in a dark tunnel with no beginning and no end. It just goes on and on. Leading me into bigger problems. I thought that God said he would only put us through challenges we could handle.... I can't handle this. I try to hold back tears every time I see him, which is very often. I have no hope of recovering, and never getting healed from this illness that I suffer from. A broken heart is the only thing broken. Two rejections in 2 hours. how unfair. I never thought I would say this. but I HATE LOVE! It is a horrible thing, something that can literally kill you, something that just doesn't work, unless the other person loves you back. but I don't think any one will love me... not that way at least.
        I have no one to talk to, everyone is gone, everyone is distracted, no one is there and all I can do is type on my blog.... how pathetic....... I have no friends and two crushes that are crushing me. so lonely in this dark tunnel, so lost, so alone, so bundled up and I keep things to myself, I don't and can't do anything about it.........
       

        He is taken, gone, who knows how long this will last... my whole life? Possibly. but, I know that I will not have to worry about burdening e\anyone elses shoudlers.


                   Now I must depart from here, to retreat to the darkness of my bed chambers and shed every tear I have, for impossible loves, lost friends and a heart split in three...................................... goodnight  :(

What now?

Short and sweet.............. My Best Friend made a new friend and I am jealous of her.......... she is all he talks about...........




 ......................................................Am I here or not?.................................................